with his wife, jessica, his daughter, dog, cat, and a rotating lineup of fish and snails that do not seem to live long enough to ward permanent status in his biography. ladies and gentlemen, i give you mr. jonah goldberg ♪ ♪ >> first of all, with steve here and here, there's no goatee on special report tonight. in less than national emergency. i want to start off with a complaint. i was told it was going to be a teleprompter, and this is my one shot at being presidential and now it's gone. i'm truly happy to be. i'm happier than helen thomas at a hamas rally. i'm happier than joe biden on line jell-o day at the home. let's just get this thing started. there's something i've come to realize after many years as a political commentator and a researcher of political history, close study of historical literature, and maybe you've noticed this, too. they don't like us. liberals in the press would rather have their finger in -- skynet is mad at me. liberals and the press would rather have their fingernails pulled out, there is punctured by and sharpened number two pencils. they would ra